Summer of Run (Part 1)

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a campervan. The idea of being able to travel, eat and sleep in a vehicle is something that greatly appeals to me. It’s a holiday on wheels, a golden ticket to a lifetime of adventure.

I suppose my camper obsession can be traced back to the time when my Dad took us to look round a motorhome dealership. Prior to this, we’d always stayed in a caravan during the summer holidays, typically on the South West coast. So when my Dad suggested that we might finally ‘upgrade’ and buy something of our own, you can imagine how excited I was. I had this vision of us travelling around the country as a family, visiting new and exciting places every weekend. I was going to be the envy of all my friends. Unfortunately for me however, it wasn’t meant to be, especially when my Dad saw the price tag for purchasing such a luxurious commodity. So the dream was firmly put on ice, but it never disappeared from my mind.

“I’M AN IMPULSIVE KIND OF GUY”

Fast-forward 25 years and my dream suddenly became a reality. I was finally in the enviable position of being able to afford a campervan. Although, given that I have absolutely no DIY skills or practical skills whatsoever, I knew I would have to buy something that was already converted or pay someone a great deal of money to do the work for me. Now, when I say I have no DIY skills, perhaps I’m doing myself a disservice. Last year I changed a lightbulb in the kitchen and 5 years ago I also changed a fuse in a plug. So although I’m not completely useless, I still figured it was best not to attempt to carry out any work above my skill level.

So I began some extensive research into which campervan would be best for me to buy. This extensive research involved typing ‘VW camper’ into Google and then clicking on the ones that looked the best. It didn’t take me long to find one that met my criteria and a few days later I found myself driving it home, after almost having to sell one of my kidneys to pay for it. Now, if you get the impression that I’m an impulsive kind of guy then you’d be absolutely right. I don’t do forward planning, organising, researching or reading instructions. This will become even more apparent as you continue to read this blog…

Our plan for the summer was to head to Italy (shock horror!) for a few weeks as we had 3 races planned during August; the PizTri Vertikal (a VK), the FlettaTrail, both in Malonno, and Staffetta 3 Rifugi, in Collina. I was especially excited about the first two races as Malonno was somewhere I’d never been before, which is surprising, given the fact I spend around 5-6 weeks in Northern Italy almost every year. It’s also famously considered as the ‘home of mountain running’, so of course it was only a matter of time before I had to pay a visit.

BOOKED IT, PACKED IT, F*****D OFF” Peter Kay

Our holiday checklist was almost complete, I now had a van and I roughly knew where we were heading. All that was left to do now was carefully and meticulously plan our journey. So the night before (yes – the night before. That wasn’t a typo), I booked a ticket on the ferry to Calais for the following day and bought a Sat Nav from Halfords. Obviously I spent time copious amounts of time researching which was the best one to buy. Basically, I just went in the shop and bought the most expensive one that had the biggest reduction in price, figuring it would be the best. No point in messing about. Plus, time was of the essence; I still needed to finish packing and buy everything else I thought we might need for a few weeks on the road.

IMG_4326Pictured above: The beautiful view from the end of the Mont Blanc tunnel – crossing the border from France into Italy.

With our journey now fully planned (cue me typing Malonno into the Sat-Nav), we were soon on our way and heading towards sunshine and mountains. A quick stop over in France en-route, then through the Mont Blanc tunnel and into Italy. The journey was surprisingly problem free, all except for the fact that I’d not budgeted or planned on paying toll fees, for what felt like every motorway in Europe. To be fair, I’d not planned anything at all, so it shouldn’t have come as that much of a surprise. However, I soon forgot about everything the moment I took my first glimpse of the mountains. Or was it my first sip of cheap French wine? Either way, both did the trick and we enjoyed a fantastic night in the Aosta valley, near Cogne, before heading to Malonno the following day. The views of the mountains were simply spectacular and I’ll certainly visit again, although next time for more than a few hours.

IMG_4335Pictured above: A charming view on my evening run, the Cogne valley, Gran Paradiso.

Eventually we arrived in Malonno and thankfully had a couple of days to relax before our intended races. The GB representatives, aside from myself, were Kirsty Hall (VK), Heidi Davies (FlettaTrail), Jack Wood (FlettaTrail) and Karl Gray (FlettaTrail). I planned on running both the VK and FlettaTrail, as I just wanted to make the most of every experience and opportunity.

FullSizeRender 2Pictured above: The view of Malonno from our bedroom window.

The organiser Alex, who also runs the Corsa in Montagna website, made us all feel extremely welcome and we were literally treated like celebrities around the town. It was an amazing feeling, especially when we arrived at the pre-race celebration to be presented with our numbers. It can only be compared to the start of a wrestling or boxing match, with Alex doing an amazing job of introducing each one of the invited elite athletes to the stage. Check out the video below to get an idea of how a mountain race is organised in Italy… #TheBullet #JackWooooooooooooooooooood

20861800_1606778012722951_3159098109873626804_oPictured above: The elite male athletes take to the stage.

RACE NO.1: THE PIZTRI VERTIKAL

The day before the FlettaTrail, I had the small task of racing in the PizTri Vertikal. Kirsty Hall was also competing in the ladies’ race, both of us making our VK debuts. Once again we were introduced to the crowds of spectators in similar fashion, before tackling a brutal 1000m of climb in little over 2 miles. Now I love to climb, but this was something else! It made Trooper Lane look flat. I began the race at a sensible pace and for the most part I was jostling for a top 15 position, pretty impressive considering that nearly all of the Italian national team were competing.

I felt pretty good in the first half of the race, probably up until 750m of continuous ascent. Then we hit the final section and my wheels well and truly fell off. The incline ramped up more steeply than ever before and by the end I was literally clawing my way to the finish (see evidence below).

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The reward for my effort was a few pints of Bèpete BAM at the finish. At first I thought the beer pump was a mirage, but after drinking three at altitude, I knew it was the real deal. A surreal post-race experience at the top of a mountain, but one I could certainly get used to. It’s a shame I had another race to prepare for, as I’d probably still be sat at the top with a beer in my hand right now.

RACE NO.2: THE FLETTATRAIL

Glorious sunshine? ✔

Amazing mountainous location? ✔

Perfect organisation and hosts ✔

Elite competition inc. the full Italian national team ✔

12.5 miles of mountainous trail? ✔

4,500ft+ climb? ✔

Free food and beer at the finish ✔

Priceless experience ✔

I was really excited, but at the same time extremely nervous. I wasn’t well prepared, especially considering the fact I’d not run over 10 miles for months. I was however, determined to enjoy the atmosphere and the spectacular surroundings. I wasn’t going to let a few nerves spoil my day because I knew I was part of something very special. As a mountain runner it doesn’t get much better than this.

IMG_4420Pictured above: Digging deep during the FlettaTrail, Malonno, Italy.

I set off sensibly and let the main protagonists slowly disappear from sight. I had to run my own race or risk blowing up on the first climb. I’d not had time to recce the course either, so I was unsure of what to expect. Although, after studying the race profile, the first half of the race looked much harder than the last. Therefore, I worked hard on the initial climbs and placed myself inside the top 15, aiming to hold this position all the way to the finish.

IMG_4846Pictured above: Halfway into the FlettaTrail, Malonno, Italy.

My race tactic was working perfectly, I was climbing well and feeling strong. At one point I even thought I might improve on top 15. However, about 8 miles later I really began to suffer. I was desperately thirsty and in need of an energy gel or a sugar boost. By mile 11 my wheels had well and truly fallen off. I reached the last checkpoint after a long descent and just stood for a minute whilst I downed about 5 cups of water. I walked for a small section and then dug deep for the last 2km until I reached the outskirts of the town. I’d lost 4 places in the last couple of miles but it wasn’t a complete disaster. 18th was still a respectable result and considering I wasn’t anywhere near top shape before the race, I can’t really complain.

IMG_4528Pictured above: The finish line with the FlettaTrail GB team and organisers

 

RESULTS | PHOTOS | STRAVA

IT’S NOT ABOUT THE WINNING. IT’S ABOUT THE JOURNEY, THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FRIENDS WE MAKE ALONG THE WAY.

Of course the race finished in the usual fashion, with plenty of wine, beer and food at the finish, followed by a party of EPIC proportions. The Italians might be the undisputed kings of mountain running, but we proved that the English are world leaders in drinking. What began as a fairly tame evening, suddenly transformed into one of the best nights I’ve ever had. By 8pm, it was like a scene from a typical FRA annual dinner. The beer was flowing, men were dancing topless and people were being thrown around the dancefloor as it began to turn into a mosh pit. Rob Jebb would have been proud. One of the funniest moments was when Marco Filosi, AKA. The Condor, took to the stage, grabbed the microphone and belted out some unplanned karaoke to hundreds of onlookers. The carnage continued long into the early hours. I unleashed a catalogue of my finest dance moves e.g. ‘The Chainsaw”© and “The Carrier Bag”©, Jack Wood was last seen licking men’s nipples and Heidi Davies drank more in 4 hours than she has done in 4 years.

It was certainly a night to remember.

IMG_4412Pictured above: Enjoying a beer with my friend Francesco Puppinho AKA. Puppi

PARTY.jpgPictured above: Heidi with the Italian team at the beginning of the night (Pre-carnage).

It’s not about the winning, it’s about the journey, the experience and the friends we make along the way. This was another unforgettable trip that I’ll never forget and I thank everyone who made it so memorable.

Of course, I couldn’t finish this blog without a huge thanks for the man that made all this possible. Alex Scolari AKA Skola, is a truly amazing guy. The time and energy he devotes to mountain running and the passion he has for the sport is unrivalled. It’s not possible to praise him enough. The FlettaTrail is a very special and unique race, and one that I’d recommend goes on every trail runner’s bucket list.

It’s true what they say, Malonno really is the home of mountain running.

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Pictured above: Enjoying a run in the mountains on our final day in Malonno with Jack, Kirsty and Puppi.

 

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Supported by inov-8 | Powered by Mountain Fuel | Timed by Suunto

You know you’re a fell runner when…

1. You can’t EVER remember having a full set of clean, normal looking, non-fungal infected toenails (many thanks to Gavin Mulholland for the photo).

Gav's feet

2. You’re the first to complain about a badly poured pint, but when needs must, you wouldn’t think twice about drinking from a stream, with a floating sheep carcass bobbing around only a few yards away.

3. Being able to distinguish how late you’ve arrived to a race, judging by the lack of toilet roll and level of aroma emanating from the Portaloos.

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5. You think that any race costing more than £3 to enter is a ‘bloody rip off’. You air your views all over social media about having to re-mortgage and proclaim ‘it wasn’t this expensive back in the day’.

6. Your navigation plan consists of following anyone wearing a local vest*.

*With the exception of Steve Smithies (CVFR) and Tom Addison (Helm Hill) – you have all been warned!

IMG_3094 2.JPGPhoto courtesy of Steve Frith

7. You’ve visited more service stations than a long distance lorry driver. So much so that you could list your top 10 based on the following criteria;

a) The quality and cleanliness of the toilets.

b) The standard and price of the coffee shop/s.

c) Cash machines offering ‘free withdrawals’.

d) The choice of post-race food (extra marks for a Greggs, KFC or somewhere with a meal deal)

e) The price of bottled water. Anything over a quid is simply offensive.

8. You have more Pete Bland vouchers than actual money. Post-Brexit, they’re now considered legal tender.

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9. You’ve owned/handled millions of safety pins in your career. Yet when it comes to race day you can’t find a single one. They’re completely hidden in some parallel universe with all of your teaspoons and odd socks.

10. Anything with less than 1000ft of climbing is considered ‘flat’.

11. You’ve just climbed some of the most iconic peaks in the UK and someone asks you after the race what the views were like from the top. All you can remember is the sight of someone’s backside* for the entire duration of the climb.

*I could easily pick Simon Bailey’s bum cheeks out of a 1000 people in a police line up.

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12. You will never EVER declare yourself fully fit before a race*. You have a list of excuses as long as your arm, consisting of all your injuries, niggles and ailments.

*Before proceeding to defy the laws of nature by going on to completely smash your PB and beating all the people you told about being injured/ill prior to the start.

13. Your car boot is littered with fell shoes and post-race kit, resulting in a fragrant scent that Dior would describe as stale cat piss, with a subtle hint of rotting corpse.

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14. You’ve urinated against more trees than a Jack Russell and had more open-air dumps than Bear Grylls.

15. You consider age to be irrelevant. Beating someone who’s more than three decades older than you is just as satisfying as beating someone in your age category, regardless of gender*.

*90% of fell runners have been ‘Dodded’ at some point in their career and if you haven’t yet, then it’s only a matter of time.

16. Your top 3 greatest pleasures in life consist of;

a) Poring over a freshly printed map (despite 50% of us shamefully not knowing how to read one)

b) Wearing a new pair of fell shoes for the first time.

c) Destroying your fell running ‘nemesis’ in a race.

Before and After

17. You realise that your best ever 10K minute mile pace and Parkrun PB mean absolutely nothing in fell races.

18. You accept the fact that it’s OK to go to bed without washing after a really, REALLY hard day on the fells #justsaying

COMPETITION ENTRIES:

19. Your ‘race nutrition’ is a flapjack wrapped up in your hanky. Ben Heathcote, Northumberland Fell Runners

20. You’ll do anything for a FREE t-shirt! Judy Howells, Wharfedale Harriers

21. You ‘shart’ mid-stride and don’t bat an eyelid. Just me then? James Williamson, Clayton Le Moors

22. You keep buying kit you don’t need … of course depends who’s asking, then you always need it!! Si Caton, Manchester Harriers

23. You know you have a race map somewhere and are determined to find it rather than pay £4 for another! Judy Howells, Wharfedale Harriers

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24. You have experienced first hand falling and banging your noggin on sharp jagged rocks, bleeding to near death, but dusting yourself off wrapping a buff around your wounds and worrying more about the fact you forgot to pause your GPS watch. Damien Briscoe (A.K.A The Penistone Pantani) Calder Valley Fell Runners

25. You see a hill and “normal people” are calling it a mountain. Shaun Burgess

26. You ‘fell’ but still carried on running! Ross Hay

27. That ginger bloke is stood in all the difficult places on a course, just making sure you don’t quit 😉 Chris Barnes, Ribble Valley Harriers

28. You have a line of dried mud around your ankles and your co-worker asks if you have a tan line…. Fiona @Turtleslow16

29. When you include a hat fer a kit check and it stays in your bumbag. Buff can go on yer head, on yer wrist, round yer neck and is great as an emergency bandage. Pete Hill, Horwich

30. You’ve bashed your knees at a race, can’t kneel down and therefore haven’t cleaned the mud off your feet properly. This irritates your girlfriend so much that she does it for you. Pat Wardle, Skipton AC/Horsforth Fellandale

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31. You know you’re a fell runner when you’ve most of Inov-8’s back catalogue in your shoe stash. Kris Lee, Radcliffe AC

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32. You know you’re a fell runner when having a pre-race wee between two open passenger car doors is considered private. Carolyn Shimwell, Calder Valley Fell Runners

33. You finish the Ben Nevis race, and moan about the hills on the road. Eugene McCann, Newcastle AC

34. You know that moss is definitely nature’s finest loo roll. Wayne McIntosh, Clayton Le Moors

35. You’re telling your date that “do you know I actually run up mountains” and asking her to feel your quads to try to impress her. But all she is interested in is the next glass of wine. Phil Moyles

36. When Joss Naylor is your hero, you hope he’s alive when you turn 50 so he’ll shake your hand, and you vow to put right anyone who claims not to know who he is. Paul Haigh, Calder Valley Fell Runners

37. When you do the 3 Peaks in just over 4 hours and your friends look at you in amazement and think you’re bonkers. But secretly deep down you’re gutted that you didn’t do it faster and vow to get your revenge the following year. Paul Haigh, Calder Valley Fell Runners

38. When 100m is too much tarmac. @Cooperjacobs

39. You will never ever admit to being lost. @Cooperjacobs

40. Rolling your ankle doesn’t mean breaking your stride. @Cooperjacobs

41. You know what ‘Fishwicking‘ is and have done it. @Cooperjacobs

42. You consider pork pies as sports nutrition. @Cooperjacobs

43. Bad weather is an excuse to stay out longer testing the limits of your kit. @Cooperjacobs

44. You get mad at the inov-8 ad “Mud washes off. Failure doesn’t”, cos you’ve washed your CVFR top a million times and the mud stains from Heptonstall are still there. In fact the mud stains are a badge of honour. And guess what? I’ve done a fell race so how have I failed. Ever? Paul Haigh, Calder Valley Fell Runners

45. Your bumbag with FRA kit is in the back of the car always ready to go! Clark Hind, Holmfirth Harriers

46. When you read “Barlick Fell Runners” each time you put your vest on for a road race…yep I’m one of Barlick’s ‘non Fell Running’ fell runners. Dan Balshaw, Barlick Fell Runners

47. You get a gob full of bog water and think nowt of it. Steven Pepper, Glossopdale Harriers

48. When it’s raining outside and all you can think YES! it’s going to be an ace muddy run. Luke Meleschko, Halifax Harriers

49. You run through freshly delivered cow s**t which splashes half way up your leg. You think nothing of it and carrying on running like it’s normal. Luke Meleschko, Halifax Harriers

50. When you have had to go to work in backless slippers for a week due to full thickness heel blisters. Nick Alan Hart

51. When your cat sits in your kit bag so you’ll know to feed him before you run off into the hills. Steve Jones, Keswick AC

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52. When your cat lives in an inov-8 shoe box. Steve Jones, Keswick AC

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53. When the post-race meal of pie, peas and gravy is considered the finest cuisine in your eyes! Steven Bark

54. When the wrong choice of shoe does this to your feet, but you carry on regardless to beat your team mate. Stephen Firth, Bingley Harriers

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55. You silently congratulate yourself on taking a really good grassy ‘line’….. then remember that you’re actually just out for a stroll with your mum/school group/dog. Ali Richards

56. When tha nos difference between a hat and a buff …..rule 8 innit (Paul Haigh) Pete Hill, Horwich

57. When….you learn to put your brain in your pockets downhill….LET GO!!!! Fed Gibbons

58. When queueing for a stile and someone overtaking the queue makes your blood boil! Anna Aspinall, Goyt Valley Striders

59. When your hat, buff, vest, gloves, shorts and even watch and legs!!! are in your team colours Calvin Ferguson Paul Haigh, Calder Valley Fell Runners

60. When you take the straight course through the wettest, boggiest bit and curse everyone running faster around it are wimps. Mark Williams

61. When you recognise the onset of hypothermia is a sign to run faster. Mark Williams

62. When you read 599 blogs about the 3 Peaks. Chris Barnes, Ribble Valley Harriers

63. You know you is a fell runner when yer get a piccie of yer mug int’ fellrunner mag. Pete Hill, Horwich

64. When you stalk other runners on Strava to download GPX files for Champs’ races. Phil Winskill, Keswick AC

65. When you abuse printing facilities at work to provide every runner in your club with a map of an up and coming champs race. Phil Winskill, Keswick AC

66. When you’re mates with Darren Fishwick. Phil Winskill, Keswick AC

67. When Darren Fishwick asks where you are to others on the startline. Phil Winskill, Keswick AC

68. When you run straight through bogs instead of prodding them lightly by placing your forefoot on the bits that look firm to see if there’s any give. Damien Briscoe, Calder Valley Fell Runners

69. When your Strava runs are frequently titled “sheep/lamb rescue”. Carolyn Shimwell, Calder Valley Fell Runners

70. When you feel strangely aroused by a trig. Damien Briscoe, Calder Valley Fell Runners

71. You have enough Pete Bland race numbers to wallpaper your entire house from top to bottom. Rosie

72. When your “emergency food” went out of date 4 years ago. Wayne McIntosh, Clayton Le Moors

73. When you drive down the A66 without even looking at the road once. James Williamson, Clayton Le Moors

74. When you nip out for milk and come back 2 hours later covered in sheep turd without any milk. James Williamson, Clayton Le Moors

75. When you have more shoes than your wife! Adam Wallwork, Trawden AC

76. When you encourage your wife to keep an eye on the tracker you wear! Andrew Britton Rachel Britton

77. When even the sheep know you by your first name and most of them laugh at the fact you spend more time up on the hills than they do. David Anthony Davidson

78. When you always take the office stairs to get in some extra climb between meetings. Andrew Britton, Idle AC

79. When you have a big toenail that would rival Gavin Mulholland’s! Paul Scarisbrick

80. Mid-bonk, you’ll drop to your knees & frantically claw in a boggy puddle for a dropped jelly baby. Neil ‘Braveshorts’ Wallace 

81. When u have to retrieve 30% of your shorts from up your bum after every descent. @TheOldMongoose

82. When the only flat thing in your life is your flat cap. Andrew Falkingbridge, Stainland Lions

83. When you go on a 9 day holiday to run in various locations around Europe. Daniel Green

84. When ‘a bit of clag’ is considered a favourable weather condition. Chris Usher

85. You’ve got a big pile of inov-8’s in various states of disrepair outside your door. RuslandSherperdess

86. You look forward to your significant birthdays so you can move up into the next vet cat, whilst forgetting​ your rivals are also getting older (but unfortunately not slower) at the same rate. Helen Elmore

87. When you are checking out the FRA website for racers and results whilst you should be working at your computer. Simon Taylor, Darwen Dashers

88. When the cleanest bit of kit you own are the waterproof pants in your bum bag – that have NEVER been worn. Colin Woolford

89. When you got seriously wound up that Nicky Spinks wasn’t even considered to win Sports Personality of the Year 2016. Danny Richardson

90. When the disappointment that the AL you trained for is actually a BM – hurts more than the actual run. Colin Woolford

91. When you force yourself to run past the photographer on the stupidly steep section. Simon Bayliss

92. When you look at your muddy black toenails and feel proud rather than disgusted. Charlotte Akam, Cumberland Fell Runners

93. When you moan about road running. Matthew Lawlor, Barlick Fell Runners

94. When the compass you got in year dot for Xmas has never been used. Nick Gaskell, Trawden AC

95. When you enter competitions to win stuff; because you’re too tight to buy it. Andrew Graham

96. When you call your dog ‘Fly’. Adrian Leigh

97. When your flailing snot on a descent can take out the runner behind. Martin Jones

98. When your essential race kit includes tupperware for the cake stall. James Edwards

99. When you want to save for a mortgage but you see a good deal on what will be your 15th pair of X-Talons or Mudclaws this year. Calvin Ferguson, Calder Valley Fell Runners/Darwen Dashers

100. When you have a photo of Darren Kay’s legs as your phone screensaver. Mark Burton, Pennine Fell Runners (But wishes he was Calder Valley)

101. When you’re on Facebook in your soaked Y-fronts trying to win a free T-shirt. Mark Burton, Pennine Fell Runners

102. You’re a road runner but try a fell run saying never again I HATE MUD”! Couple of years down the line you sack the road for fell due to loving the MUD and all the lovely people I have met and become friends with along the way. Diane ‘Maccers’ Macdonald, Keighley & Craven

103. When the only presents you ever ask for again are inov-8. David Cooper, Pudsey Pacers

104. You try & convince the Mrs that she should consider giving birth to your impending child in Fort William hospital so you can still run the Ben Nevis race. James Williamson, Clayton Le Moors

105. When you get aroused by your male teammates showering together after a race. Helen Buchan, Calder Valley Fell Runners

106. When u r forced 2 look at your team mate’s gollum feet, who then chases u around on said gollum feet! Helen Buchan, Calder Valley Fell Runners

107.When all this corporate **** **** that’s trying to worm it’s way in to fell running annoys you more than Corbyn V May. Now take your online entries and your inflatable finish lines and **** *** Chris Barnes, Ribble Valley Harriers

108. When Chris Barnes chases after you with a vest after meeting his “qualifying standard”. Bryan Searby, ‘future’ Ribble Valley Harrier?

109. When you choose to race in only a vest and it’s minus 10°C outside, it’s snowing and the wind is blowing at 100mph. Paul Haigh, Calder Valley Fell Runners

110. When you attempt your first dangerous downhill descent, your life flashes before your eyes and you realise how boring your life was before you were introduced to fell running. Steve Woods, South Leeds Lakers

111. When you recognise types of fell shoes just by their studmarks. Gavin Mulholland, Calder Valley Fell Runners

112. When you collect enough safety pins to organise your own fell race. Gavin Mulholland, Calder Valley Fell Runners

113. When beer is your recovery drink. Chris Jackson, Glossopdale Harriers

114. You have 4 different OS maps cut and stuck to make one big Bob Graham map on your living room wall, while surrounded by your pacing notes and a list of your actual times. All above 3 x pairs of inov-8 trainers you wore on various legs while completing said BG. Andrew Britton, Idle AC

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115. When spending a night in the Priest’s hole is fun. James Williamson, Clayton Le Moors

116. When finding the best lines doesn’t involve cocaine. Matthew Lalor, Barlick Fell Runners

117. When you contemplate growing a beard and adding checked shirts to your wardrobe. Kris Lee, Radcliffe AC

118. When your mates ask you if you fancy doing Manchester 10k or a Tough Mudder and you look at them in utter disgust! Carolyn Shimwell, Calder Valley Fell Runners

119. When a car door is perfectly good cover for stripping off your freezing soggy kit. Zoe Barton, Glossopdale Harriers

120. When you try to convince your parents they want a short break in Llanberis in October, so that they can babysit during the FRA relays. Zoe Barton, Glossopdale Harriers

121. When you secretly check the date for next year’s race less than 30 days after firmly telling yourself and everyone around you unequivocally and without a single doubt that you will absolutely never ever under any circumstances put yourself through that again. Adam Oliver, Helm Hill

122. When you get upset after realising that the lovely bum you’ve been following for the past hour actually belongs to a bearded man. Jacob Daniel Tonkin, Keswick AC

123. When you have the legs of a warrior and the upper body of a chicken. Pete Nicholson, Asics Front Runner

124. When all that concerns you is where when and how far is the next race! Bill Beckett, Chorley AC

125. When you don’t mind being ‘man handled’ over a stile. Rachel Lowther, Barlick Fell Runners

126. When your partner suggests getting an early night and you think she’s just being considerate because you’ve got a long run tomorrow. Tom Thomas, Saddleworth Fell Runners

127. When the mid-race downpour at Weets champs race doubles up as your post race shower. John Millen

128. When a breath of fresh air turns in a marathon and imminent divorce as you keep adding on hill reps just to get that extra edge. Paul Haigh, Calder Valley Fell Runners

129. When you spend more time running through mud than running a bath. Andy Smith, Stainland Lions

130. When you walk the uphills in cross country and overtake people running. Arthur Raffle, Altrincham AC

131. You nickname your particularly dodgy toenail your ‘X-rated Talon’. Tamsin Cooke, Calder Valley Fell Runners

132. On a summer run, you seriously consider jumping from cowpat to cowpat cos the ground’s too hard! Tamsin Cooke, Calder Valley Fell Runners

133. You travel 40 miles just to run 4 miles an your run doesn’t end till you get to the pub for a cold beer and 5 packs of crisps. Alun Wood, Mynydd Du

134. You are pleased to win an electrical crimping kit and 1/2 a bunch of bananas (Blackstone Edge Fell Race) James Williams, Calder Valley Fell Runners

COMPETITION WINNER:

Congratulations to Tamsin Cooke (entry 131)! 

You know you’re a fell runner when…you nickname your particularly dodgy toenail your ‘X-rated Talon’.

tee comp

How to ENTER into the free inov-8 competition:

  1. Simply complete this phrase – ‘You know you’re a fell runner when…’ and submit your entry to me via Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, using the hashtag #GetAGrip (include your name and running club – if applicable).
  2. LIKE and SHARE this blog on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter

COMPETITION RULES:

  1. You may submit as many entries as you wish.
  2. The best (funniest!) entries will be posted on this blog (with credit to you)
  3. Entry into the competition closes on Wednesday 14th June 2017
  4. Entries will be judged by the inov-8 team and the winner will receive a free inov-8 tee in their choice of size and colour.

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